is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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