why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
