AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just invented taco cereal.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
