TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
