Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
A bitchslap is in order.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
