I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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