I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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