Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
