My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
