I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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