ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
