you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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