I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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