Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
