playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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