i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
