I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
