i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
