I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
