Just cropdusted the office
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
