so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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