ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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