i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize