I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
