it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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