In the future we'll all be gay
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
