just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
