six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
