sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
