do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
