like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
