Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
