is your mom at the bar?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
