So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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