he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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