Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
