He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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