i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
