Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize