so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
