And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
