Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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