So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
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Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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