Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
