some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
