I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
