he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
