piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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