OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
