drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
