i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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