Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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