im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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