she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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