Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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