After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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